These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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