She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
