last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
