Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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