He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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