Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
