Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
