I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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