So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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