You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
