i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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