You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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