My brain says no but my pants say off.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
