I look better un-naked...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
