On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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