I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
