When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
