I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
