some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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