I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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