theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
