Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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