The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
