I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
