I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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