so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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