Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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