so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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