I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
