I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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