so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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