idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
