you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
