Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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