My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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