Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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