Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
