you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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