You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
