Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
