Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
