Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
