At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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