This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
pray to the hookup gods
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize