i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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