Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
