We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
