Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
