Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is my gift to your gina
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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