so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
