How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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