did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
