Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
