she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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