So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
