Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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