Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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