it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
