It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
