I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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