don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
