I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
