remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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