Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
