I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Boobs speak an international language.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
