At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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