i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
