just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
